also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
