Dude my mom stole all your condoms
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize