i just wanna soil my oats bro
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
