get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
