My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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