When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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