Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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