how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize