stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
