He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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