I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
