i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
