It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
