I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
