And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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