but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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