Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
