Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
