May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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