i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
