She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
