i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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I'm too high and old for this...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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