we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
