So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
