Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize