she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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