The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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