She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
