what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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