That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
MIDGETS
????
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
