I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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