you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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