thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
