Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
