Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
