Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
