Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
