I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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