So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
