I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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