Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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