i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
why do cheetos always look like penises
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
