i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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