After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
