He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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