If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we're making bets on your personal life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
