Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize