Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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