I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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