Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix