Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
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I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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