well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
