Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
