is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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