the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
